Truth Be Told
by Mandi-girl
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER! About time, don't you think? Well, here it is... after that awful fight with Kel, how is Joren ever going to win her back? And why is Neal helping?
1. You don't know

Disclaimer: Nick, from 98 degrees, wrote this song. Nothing belongs to me...you know the drill. This is a story that just happens to go with a song, so it's a bit longer than most usual song fics. I'm thinkin' of a sequel so review and tell me if you want one!  
  
***starts and ends the song  
^ are thoughts ^  
  
  
"You Don't Know":  
By Mandi Girl  
  
  
***Who could know the emptiness inside  
Every time I see your face  
Too many feelings left behind  
Do you wonder why  
I turn away when you look at me  
Never wanting your eyes to see  
This desperate heart that knows  
How perfect we could be***  
  
Joren of Stone Mountain sat at a small table in the corner of the library. History books, papers, and several other things that needed attending to surrounded him. He couldn't, however, seem to focus on his work. His eyes were drawn to the other side of the library were Neal, Kel, and their friends sat, talking.  
"Come on, Kel. You don't want to stoop to their level," Neal had said just a few days ago.  
The words rang in his head over and over. Joren could not get his mind off of what had happened. Vinson had cornered Kel and Neal as they were walking to the practice courts. He was arguing with Neal as Joren walked up. Vinson began to call Kel names that made Joren want to lynch him.  
^But no. I didn't do anything. If I had done something about it everyone would soon realize my true feelings for that female squire. How even though I hated her in the beginning, I have fallen in love with her in the end. ^  
  
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel  
Livin' my life without you  
Baby and you don't know what it's like  
Lovin' you all this time  
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul  
Riskin' it all on a chance  
And now when I need you the most  
You don't know***  
  
Joren shook his head, trying to rid his mind of Kel. He picked up his math book and gazed at the first problem.   
^ Kel's really good at math. ^  
Joren sighed and put his head in his hands. He finally lifted his head to look over at Kel. He could'nt avoid his feelings, nor the ongoing need inside him for her love.  
Kel laughed along with her friends, and a fire of jealousy burned deep within Joren. His eyes followed her mouth as she spoke. He yearned to feel her lips against his, just one time. Joren looked down at his books, then looked at Kel. He sighed again, closing the math book. It was impossible to think of anything else but Keladry.  
  
  
***All I ever wanted in this world  
Baby I found in you  
I never felt this way before  
But I can't break through  
And now I lie awake  
Alone at night  
So afraid now to close my eyes  
Just one more dream of you  
I'll carry here inside***  
  
Joren watched as Kel arose from her seat and began to walk toward him. His heart began to pound. She caught his eye, and then immediately looked away, turning now to the right and going into the row of books behind him. He saw Neal and Cleon looking at her as she moved, though they would never admit to noticing Kel in that way. Joren had a hunch Kel loved Neal. Everyone but Kel knew Cleon loved her.  
^ It may be too late. One of them might have stolen her heart from me. I love her too much to lose her now. I have to tell her, regardless if she doesn't love me back. I have to get it out. ^  
  
  
  
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel  
Livin' my life without you  
Baby and you don't know what it's like  
Lovin' you all this time  
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul  
Riskin' it all on a chance  
And now when I need you the most  
You don't know***  
  
  
Joren rose from his seat and walked to the back were Kel was. Neal and Cleon almost stood when they saw Joren heading for Kel, but their friends stopped them, reminding them how Kel could take care of herself.  
Kel was looking at a science book when she was caught off guard. She gasped at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Joren looking at her. His blue eyes were filled with determination.   
"What do you want?" Kel asked harshly.  
Instead of answering, Joren pinned her against the corner of the wall, where no one could see, and kissed her. Kel tired to break lose, grabbing at his shirt and trying to wiggle out of his arms. Joren, however, never let her go. He held her tightly, almost as if she were part of him. Kel quit struggling and relaxed into the kiss, finding that she quite enjoyed it.  
  
***And I would hold you all through the night  
I would stay right by your side  
And I'd give you the world   
If you love was mine  
But baby could it be I'm only dreamin'  
Don't let it pass me by***  
  
Kel slowly opened her eyes, which soon met with Joren's. Joren still held her tightly, and she could feel his chest rising and falling as he took fast breaths. Feeling his heart race at the same beat as hers, Kel suddenly felt an urge for more.  
Joren leaned in again, and this time Kel did as well. As their lips met, a surge of energy ran up Kel's spine. Joren wrapped his arms tightly around Kel's waist, closing any gap between their two bodies. The kiss was long, and far more passionate than the last. Finally they broke away, and Joren stared into Kel's eyes once more. Kel smiled at him, and all he could do was grin back. He moved in to graze his lips against hers, and just as he closed his eyes to return for more, he saw Vinson.  
Joren pulled away from Kel, confusing her. He looked at Vinson, who looked at the two enemies, or so he thought.  
"Great Merciful Mother! Joren, what are you doing?"  
Joren looked at Kel. His heart yearned to tell of his love for her, but his mind had a different idea.  
"It was all a test, Mindelan. You just as vulnerable as the other women, all we have to do is catch you in bed with on of these lads and you're out of here." Joren's heart ached as he told his lie.  
Kel looked at him in confusion, but then the look turned to hatred. She glared at Joren, then, with all her might, she slapped him. Joren took it, knowing it was deserved. She stormed off to her friends and they left, knowing Joren had upset her, but unaware of exactly how. As they walked to the door they all glared at the smiling Vinson and the cold-hearted Joren.  
Vinson laughed as he and Joren walked out of the library, "Wow, Joren, you had me there. I almost thought you meant that kiss. You got her good."  
Joren felt his cheek, remembering their kiss in detail, and also remembering his lie, "Yeah, I guess I did."  
  
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel  
Livin' my life without you  
Baby and you don't know what it's like  
Lovin' you all this time  
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul  
Riskin' it all on a chance  
And now when I need you the most  
You don't know***  
  
Joren laid in his bed that night, thinking only of Keladry, and of the moment he had been waiting for. The moment had finally happened, and the moment he had ruined.  
^ Someday I'll remove this mask of hatred I wear to impress Vinson and the others. Someday I'll tell her everything, I'll make her mine. ^  
  
  
  
  



	2. A sudden suprise

Author Note: This is my sequel to the previous song fic "You don't know" It will have more chapters, if I get reviews.   
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story except for Lady Portia. She does not have a huge part, but here's a short bio. Portia is about 17 years old, and she wanted to be a knight, but her parents wouldn't allow it. She and Kel met maybe a few months ago, and they get along really well.   
  
"Truth be told" Chapter two  
  
Joren sat at his usual place in the library. He glanced around at the other tables, searching. Kel and her friends had not come to the library for over two weeks now, ever since Joren had kissed her. Had it really been that long? he wondered. It may have been two week ago, but the pain still lingered in his cheek as if it were yesterday.  
Joren's mind turned to the letter in front of him. It was from Vinson, who was out of Corus with his knight master. Joren read it, remembering the last night he was here. He had seen Joren kissing Kel, and Joren trying to avoid humiliation, lied and angered the one person he ever cared for.  
In anger, Joren crumbled the latter, throwing it to the side. He put his head down for a few seconds, sighed, picked up the letter and reopened it. It wasn't his fault, Joren told himself. It was mine. I couldn't even stand up for what I believe in. What kind of man will I become if I can't even stand up for the one I love? And Mithros how I love her!  
Joren daydreamed about Kel as he sat alone at his small table. Just as her hazel eyes were coming into his mind, a soft, feminine laugh rang in his ears. He looked up to see Cleon, Neal, Roald, and then Kel walk into the library. Joren followed with his eyes as Kel and her friends took their usual places across the room. Kel was wearing a shirt, breeches, and boots. Even in breeches she radiates, Joren thought to himself. Joren watched as the four settled themselves to work.  
Two weeks ago, Joren had chosen to tell Kel of his feelings for her. Now, two weeks later, she still didn't know. That was partly because he hadn't seen her around much, but mostly because of his own stupidity. I had the chance, Joren scolded, but I gave it away. Not this time. No, this time she will know.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kel sat at her table in the lesser library. On her right sat Neal, on her left Roald. It was the first time in two weeks that they had been in the library, and only Kel knew exactly why that was. Her friends knew that Joren had done something to upset her, they just didn't know what. She didn't even tell her close friend, Portia.  
Kel couldn't concentrate on the work laid out in front of her. The harder she tried, the harder it was to stop thinking back two weeks ago. She slowly looked up from her books and glanced around the room to see Joren of Stone Mountain. His ice blue eyes were quickly scanning a crumbled piece of parchment, most likely a letter. Slowly his eyes looked up from the letter and caught Kel's. Heat rose up in Kel's cheeks, and anger filled her mind as she turned and looked away. Why am I acting like this? she asked herself. This isn't like me, to run and hide. He's done plenty of other things to me, why is this any different?  
Kel thought about that for a while, and not coming up with an answer that she could accept, she pounded two clenched fists on the table, causing her three friends to turn in her direction.  
"Kel? Are you alright?" Neal asked placing his hand over her fist. Kel nodded slowly, as if unsure, and unclenched her fist.  
"We can leave if you want."  
Kel shook her head, he short hair swishing as she moved.  
"No, Neal. I have to stay. I have to show him that he can't bring me down."  
Kel's friends nodded in agreement, and soon settled back to work. Kel still couldn't focus, and she found herself looking in Joren's direction. One thing changed, however. He was nowhere to be found.What's wrong with me? Kel snapped at herself. She tried to clear her mind of everything that pertained to Joren, and somewhat settled herself to begin working.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kel awoke the next day to a bright ray of sunshine peeking through the curtains. With a quiet moan she rolled out of bed, sitting up amid her tossed covers. Kel rubbed her eyes hard, and yawned. She did not get much sleep that night; there was just way too much on her mind.  
Lalassa walked in her room, greeting Kel with a friendly chuckle. "Kel, you look horrid! What in the Gods realm happened last night?"  
Kel managed to grin, then she threw a pillow at her. "Thank you ever so much for noticing. I just..had a bad night, that's all."   
"Yes," she replied with a grin, "I heard you all night, tossing and turning." Kel smirked, "There's a hot bath ready for you."  
Kel relaxed as the warm water engulfed her body. She closed her eyes and began to clear her mind. She was actually quite successful in putting her thoughts of classes, practice, and her upcoming ordeal in the back of her mind. She still thought of Joren, but not as much. Good, she thought, I'm finally getting rid of this.  
Kel got out of her bath, and changed in to a pair of breeches, a shirt, and a pair of black boots. She gathered her books, and opened the door to head to breakfast. She met Neal and Cleon at breakfast, and afterward they headed for class. Kel yawned often, which made Neal ask her constantly about her health.   
"I'm fine, Neal, really. I just had a bad night."  
After they finished eating, Kel and Neal made their way to class. Fortunately for Kel, her first class was mathematics. At least she could relax, and possibly catch a few seconds of sleep between lessons she already had mastered. Kel and Neal found their usual seats together and sat down. Kel opened her book, thinking she would find her homework, but she didn't. Kel searched Neal, hoping it was a bad joke, but realized she had left it in her room. It would be a mad dash, but she was going to try to run for it. She ran down the hallway, and into the squire's wing. She winded her way through the halls, and soon found herself at the door of her room. She turned the key and ran in. She grabbed her papers and ran out of her room in less than a minute.   
Back down the hall she ran, passing bedrooms, the library, and going past classrooms. Almost to her math room, Kel stopped and took a breath. She began to walk again when her arm was grabbed. A strong pull spun her into a nearby classroom.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A few minutes before:  
Joren leaned against the wall of an empty classroom. He should have gone to class, but everything was bothering him, and he had no time to even think straight enough to attend classes. Breakfast had been painful, he sta alone, and every ime he tried to catch Kel's eyes, she turned away. She wanting nothing to do with him, and she had every reason not to.  
So plan "A" is out of the picture, he thought. Now plan "B", the spontaneous, think-from-the-gut plan of a desperate heart, was in. He had seen Kel running down the hallway. She's going to be late anyway, why not keep her a bit longer? Plus, he thought, I may never get another chance.  
Joren took a deep breath, and waited. Suddenly her heard quick footsteps. He peeked out the door to see Kel bending over, catching her breath. She continued to walk briskly down the hall toward him. I can't do this, Joren thought suddenly. She'll reject me, and I deserve it. Joren sighed, pretty much giving up. As Kel walked by, however, something in his heart caused him to grab her arm and pull her toward him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Back to the present:  
Kel gasped as she was pulled into the classroom. Out of shock, she had closed her eyes. Now, unaware of what to expect, she opened them.  
"You! Joren what are you.." Her protest was cut short by a firm hand over her mouth. She pulled her arm away and headed for the door.  
"Kel wait!" Joren yelled, putting his hand on the door, closing it. "Just hear me out, okay?" He sat Kel down on the chair, and then kneeled in front of her.  
"Oh, great. Come to grovel for my forgiveness?" Kel asked crossing her arms over her chest.  
The sarcastic tone in her voice pierced Joren's heart, mainly because that WAS what he was doing. He wanted her to forgive him; he wanted her to love him. "Kel I don't know how to say this.."  
"Then don't!" Kel stood up, only to be forced down by Joren. He stood and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked into her eyes, and the look was serious.  
"Kel I...I've fallen in love with you."  
Her eyes grew wide. "You...love me?"  
Joren opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It was the firs time Kel had seen him struggle for words to say.   
"With all my heart," Joren finished.  
There was a long pause between the two, and Kel closed her eyes. She thought about what he had said, and how sincere it had sounded. Was he lying?  
Kel stood and chuckled. "You think you're so good don't you?" Kel crossed to the door, "Where are your little followers? Hiding? Waiting for me to crack and express my love for you?"  
"Kel,I'm serious! The only reason I lied was..."  
Kel turned to face Joren. She kept her mask on, and kept it good. "I've had enough," She sighed and walked out the door, with Joren trailing behind.  
"Kel, I know you feel something for me! You have to! YOU KISSED ME BACK!"  
Kel turned, looking straight into Joren's blue eyes.  
"I knew it! I knew it." Joren ran to her, wrapped his arm around her waist, and kissed her.   
Kel pulled away. Joren expected a slap, but it didn't come. Instead Kel turned, rubbing her head, and walked to class, saying nothing to Joren. He was left behind her, and she never turned.  
"I didn't feel anything, I didn't feel anything," Kel convinced herself in class. Father will be disappointed in how good a liar I've become.  
  
  



	3. Discoveries

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Disclaimer: I own Portia and Alton, the rest of them ain't mine.

Truth be told - Part three

4 days later

Kel sat on a stone bench in the palace garden. She had just finished cleaning out the stables, her punishment for being late to class the other day. Every minute of her punishment made her think of Joren. To make matters worse, she found those thoughts to be completely opposite of those she had had just a few days ago. Her thoughts had been once of hatred, now...she really didn't know what her thoughts meant. She had a problem, and there was only one person she could turn to.

"Kel! Oh, Kel it's so good to see you!" Kel stood and hugged her friend Portia tightly. Portia was shorter than Kel by inches, but she was older by almost three years. Her straight black hair was pinned up in a small bun.

"It's been a while." Kel hadn't seen Portia in about two months. Portia had fled her home years ago because of disagreements with her family. She went back for the first time two months ago.

The two girls talked a bit, then silence came over them for a while.

"Kel, what's wrong?" Portia said suddenly. 

Kel's eyes grew wide, "What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Keladry, I can tell when something's on your mind. That little mask of yours doesn't fool Portia of Greenridge." Kel sighed. Portia was the only one to have noticed her feelings for Neal; she should've known her mask would not have worked.

"It's really complicated."

"I have the time, Kel." Portia grinned brightly at her friend.

Kel breathed in deeply. "Alright. Where do I start?" Kel thought a bit, then introduced her problem with the event that occurred that morning. She had gone to breakfast, as usual. Everyone was quiet, which wasn't unusual either. No one had asked her why she was late to class, and Kel was relived that she didn't have to lie anymore then she already had. Before classes began, Kel walked outside to get some fresh air, and to be alone. She wasn't alone, however, for long. Not long after she got out, she heard footsteps behind her. A hand on her shoulder spun her around, and before she could speak, someone was kissing her. Expecting to see Joren, she opened her eyes. Instead her eyes met with a pair of emerald green ones. 

Portia clapped her hands together, "Neal?! That's great! What did he say after?"

"Nothing! He just said 'Come on, you don't want to be late again.' That's it." 

Portia's smile faded as she raised an eyebrow. "Kel? This is exactly what you wanted. What could be wrong?"

Kel sighed, and looked at her friend. "How did you...I mean, how did you know Alton was the one? Alton was Porita's lover. They were practically betrothed. "Can you just...feel it?" 

"Mithros, what a question! Um...sure I guess. I did have a feeling about Alton." She smiled. "It's hard to explain really, you'll just know when it happens." 

"Oh. Portia, what's this feeling like?" Kel thought about the nature of her questions; they were all girl troubles. Five years ago she would have laughed at the thought of having these questions asked. 

"I can't say, Kel. You'll just know." Portia raised her eyebrow once more, "Why?" 

"When Neal kissed me...I guess I expected to feel what you're talking about. But I didn't. Not like..." She stopped. 

"Wait. Not like what? Keladry of Mindelan what are you not telling me? No offence, but you don't have anything to compare his kiss to...do you?" 

"Here's my problem, Portia…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Portia was silent the whole time Kel spoke. She listened a Kel told her everything that had happened with Joren of Stone Mountain. 

"So, that's it. That's what I'm faced with." Kel looked at Portia, "Now what?"

"What if this is another joke, Kel."

"I thought about that. He sounded serious, Portia. I really think he meant it."

"Okay, so what's the problem?" Portia was growing impatient.

"You said I'd just know right?" Portia nodded. "Well, when Joren kissed me...I don't know...there was just something there that wasn't there when Neal did it. Like you said, I just knew there was something there."

"Do you love him? That's your problem isn't it? You have this guy who you hated, or you thought you hated. And then you have this other guy who you love, or you think you love, if that's the case. They both kiss you and the feeling that you expected to have came not from the one you love, but the one you think you hate, right?" Portia breathed in.

"Yes." Kel replied. 

"Now, some questions are arising about Joren. Some questions you're afraid to know the true answer to."

Kel rubbed her forehead. "Exactly. Portia, you know me too well."

Portia put an arm around her friend. "I think you know the answer to your problem." Kel smiled. "Just follow your heart," she added sarcastically. 

"Very inspiring words my love." Portia and Kel turned to face a tall young man, about Neal's age. He had jet-black hair that was tied back in a short ponytail. Portia stood and kissed him. 

"I have to go, Kel. Sorry I couldn't be much help."

"You were, Portia. Thank you." Kel waved at the two. "Good-bye." She watched Portia walk away until she was out of sight. Then she turned and walked back the squire's wing. She had to face her study group now, and that meant facing Neal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Kel turned the key to her bedroom door. The door creaked as she shut it. Kel made her way to her trunk, and opened it to pull out a dress made of gold fabric. She pulled off her tunic and pants, and began to pull the dress over her head.

"Something's come for you." Lalassa turned to look at Kel's work desk, as did Kel. There on the desk was a small bouquet of flowers. Kel walked over to the desk and picked the flowers up.

"I've never gotten flowers before." She said, smelling them.

Lalassa smiled. "Seems you've made yet another conquest, Keladry."

"Any idea who they're from?" Kel really didn't have to ask. This wasn't something Neal would have done.

" I think you know." Lalassa opened the door, "Now go, your friends will worry if you're late."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kel sat next to Neal and Roald in the lesser library. Her pencil moved about on Neal's paper as she explained the math problem. Joren was not to be seen, and Neal had yet to say anything to her.

"Kel," Neal took her hand, stopping the explanation, "About this morning...I'm sorry." 

Kel looked up. "Why?"

"I don't know what came over me. This won't change anything, right?" he added in panic. "I mean...I..."

"Don't worry yourself!" Kel said grinning.

"It's okay. Nothing's changed. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"You do?"

"Yes. I saw Portia today." Kel changed the subject.

Neal scoffed, "Is she still with that Alton fellow? He's no good."

Kel laughed, seeing Neal was back to his old self. "Now, let's get back to work."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joren sat his desk, thinking. Why did I think flowers would help any? He couldn't go to the library that night; it was too hard to see Kel. He was going to class that morning when something out the window caught his eye. What he saw nearly broke his heart. There was Kel, standing there in the garden, kissing Neal. It was already too late, she was gone, out of his reach. The flowers were a nice try, but that's all they were, a try. 

Joren got up and changed for bed. It was still far too early to sleep, but Joren figured it would help clear his mind of a certain female squire. He laid back and pulled the linen sheets over his body. He leaned over and blew out the candle by the bed. 

He couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned for over two hours. He just had too much on his mind to rest. Joren sat up and sighed heavily. He wasn't going to get any sleep.

After about another half and hour, Joren grew tired. He yawned and laid back in bed. As his eyes closed there was a knock on the door.

"Now what?" he grumbled as he made his way to the door. When he opened it his eyes widened, seeing something very unexpected.

"Thanks for the flowers." Kel stood in his doorway, a light brown coat covering her nightdress. In her hand was the small bouquet of flowers Joren had picked her.

"Kel!" Joren pulled her into his room and closed the door. To his surprise, she didn't protest. "What are you doing here?"

Kel looked down. "I...I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what you said to me."

Joren rubbed his eyes hard. "You didn't come all this way to slap me, did you?"

Kel laughed quietly then touched Joren's cheek. "No, and I'm sorry I ever did." Joren looked at her. "You were right."

"About what?"

"I did have feeling for you…I _do _have feelings for you. I just didn't want to admit it. Maybe I was embarrassed."

"Joren smiled and took her hand. "I know exactly what you mean." He took the flowers out of Kel's and placed them on his desk. He looked into her hazel eyes. "I love you."

Kel smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I know _that_. I just didn't know that I loved you, until now." She smiled and kissed him softly.

Joren yawned as he made his way to his bed. He sat, back against the headboard and legs spread out. Kel walked to him and kissed his forehead.

"I'd better go. It's late."

"Yes it is. That's why you should stay here." 

Kel hesitated. "I…uh…maybe I should…"

Joren smiled. "Don't worry." He motioned Kel over, and she sat beside him. Kel laid her head on his chest. "Get some rest." He advised. Joren kissed her hair, her cheek, and her nose; which made her giggle. "Shh…" He sighed and ran his hand through her hair.

"Joren?" Kel looked up to look into his eyes as they opened, "What are we going to do tomorrow? When everyone wakes up?"

"We'll worry about that tomorrow. Right now," Joren rubbed Kel's cold arms, "I'm worried about keeping you warm." He smiled at Kel, who grinned and closed her eyes. Joren yawned one last time, closed his eyes, and fell asleep. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hey, I need some help! Who do you want to find out first? I have two people so far, but you're NOT limited to choosing only one of them. 1) Neal or 2) Owen

Thanks!


	4. The next morning

Note: Nothing happened that night with Joren and Kel! Just want everyone to understand that. Really short chapter compared to the other one, so don't kill me!  
  
Chapter 4: "The next morning"  
  
The wooden floorboards creaked as Kel moved slowly across to the door. The sun wasn't up yet, so Kel was blind in an unfamiliar room. Joren rolled on his side, and Kel stopped until she was sure he hadn't woken up. She hated to risk waking him, but she had to get back to her room before anyone found out where she was. Finally she reached her coat, which was draped over a chair. She made her slow pace to the door, inching her arms into the sleeves with every step she took. Finding the knob she turned it...  
"Kel?" Joren rubbed his eyes as he stood up. He lit a candle and walked over to Kel.  
"Joren, go back to sleep. There's still an hour before everyone wakes up."  
Joren smiled and ruffled Kel's hair. "Oh I will," He yawned, "That you can be sure of." Kel smiled and looked down. They were standing so close together, their feet were almost interlocked. Joren lifted Kel's chin and kissed her. Kel sank into the kiss, a rush of energy surging up her spine. Joren held her close as their lips parted.  
"I'll see you later?" He asked, eyes locked with Kel's, his voice but a whisper.  
"Of course." Kel replied her voice at the same, soft volume. Joren let his hold on Kel go and let her out of his room. He watched her until she rounded the corner, and disappeared.   
Joren closed the door softly and made his way back to bed. Smiling, he closed his eyes. I don't have to dream anymore, he thought. I already had mine come true.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kel walked briskly down the hallway leading to her room. She had to admit she was a bit nervous. In her head thoughts about other people finding out about her and Joren circled.  
"OW!" Kel had just reached her room when she heard it. She turned and swung the door open, shutting it hard behind her. She stood against the door for a little while.  
"Keladry?" The sound of Lalassa's voice startled Kel. She threw off the coat and jumped on her bed, acting as if she had just awakened.  
"Kel," she came into view, " You're up early."  
Kel faked a yawn. "Trust me, I didn't mean to be."  
Lalassa let out a quiet chuckle. "I'll prepare your bath."  
Once Lalassa left, Kel sighed and feel back in bed. "That was close."  
Later as Kel relaxed in her bath, she began to think of what had happened earlier. The sound she had heard echoed in her head, and now that she thought about it, she realized the sound had come from behind her. *Did someone see me come from Joren's room? And were they following me?*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Kel and Joren. Joren...and Kel? Who would have guessed? I figured something was going on, I mean, Kel hasn't exactly been acting herself lately. But I never expected this! Maybe Cleon, but not Joren.  
Ah! My arm still hurts. I guess I didn't exactly watch where I was going. Father always said I was clumsy. This bruise is probably the God's punishment for my spying.  
Mithros, already breakfast time! How am I going to face the others, let alone Kel, without...without saying something?*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's it! If the last part was confusing, though it shouldn't be, it's the thoughts of the person who saw Kel leave Joren's room. Get it now? Good. Later.  
  



	5. In hiding

Note: *indicate thoughts*  
Chapter 5: "In hiding"  
  
  
Breakfast went on for what seemed like forever. Neal was frantically trying to complete a report, even though Wyldon was only mere feet from noticing. Kel caught Joren's eyes a few times, but she couldn't react to his smiles because of a certain young page.  
"So Kel," Owen began, "How's training going for you now that you're a squire?"  
"Pretty good." Kel answered.  
"Oh, well how is Sir Raoul these days?"  
Kel sighed, "Uh, he's alright, I guess." She wanted him to just shut up.  
"And Portia?"  
"FINE OWEN!"  
"Well, sorry!" For a moment there was complete silence between the two. Then, "Sleep well last night?"  
Kel was caught off guard. "What?"  
"Did you sleep well last night? I sure did hear an awful lot of noise."  
Kel froze, her mind trying to come up with something to say. *Last night...last night.* Last night she slept very well, but with Joren next to her. "Yeah, I-I slept well."  
"Jolly good to hear Kel!"  
*I need to be more careful about this.*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kel walked down the hallway to her classes. Right before breakfast had ended Joren had told her silently, "Garden". "After dinner."  
After dinner was her study group. It would be hard to get out of there.   
Classes were finished, and Kel was looking forward to the practice court. Wyldon had taught the squires a new staff move, and for once Neal had learned it much faster than Kel. He offered to help her, and Kel gladly accepted. In the courts Kel and Neal paired up. Neal walked her through the steps, placing her hands were they needed to be. In just minutes Kel mastered the move.  
"See?"  
Kel grinned. "What?"  
Neal looked dreamily into the blue sky. "There's still hope for me and my dream."  
It didn't take Kel long to notice the sarcasm in his voice. "And what is your dream, Neal?"  
"To be just like the Stump, and guide my young knights-in-training." He chuckled at his own joke, but that chuckle quickly faded when Kel hit his arm with her staff.  
"Are you okay?" She never intended to hurt him.  
"Yeah, you just...hit a soft spot." Neal rolled up his sleeve to reveal a large, round bruise.  
Kel winced. "Neal! When did you get that?"  
"Huh? Oh, Roald hit me really hard with his staff a coulpe of days ago."  
"Oh." Once Neal regained his position, Kel struck him with her staff. "Better practice, else it'll happen again."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The rest of the day, much to Kel's horror, went by fast. During dinner Kel began to think of all the ways she could get out of study group, without success. *I'm not up to it? No. I want to work alone? Neal would never allow that, he's too dependent on my math skills.*  
"Kel?" Cleon wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pointed to her plate, "Now I know your mother taught you to eat all your veggies."  
"I'm not very hungry."  
Cleon quickly placed a hand over her forehead. "My pearl, tell me you haven't fallen ill!"  
*Perfect. Cleon's a genius. He may not know it, but he is!* "Actually, I am feeling quite tired."  
"Well, we can't have you sick." Neal commented.   
"You can't be ill, now off to be with you!"  
"Cleon, you sound just like my father." He shot a glare after that comment. "What about study group?"  
"Don't worry about that, you get some rest." Neal said.  
"Neal can do without you telling him the answers for one night." Roald soon got a piece of bread thrown at him after that.  
Kel sighed and rose to her feet.  
"I'll walk you." Cleon offered.  
"No, I'll be alright. Finish your dinner." The squires said their good-byes, and then Kel walked out of the mess hall.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The stone bench sat under a large tree. Kel sat on it, waiting for Joren to show up. She looked up as the wind swayed the branches to and frow. It was very quiet, early in the evening, and all Kel could hear were the chirps of her sparrows being fed by Lalassa. Suddenly, in the quiet of it all, hands covered her eyes. She was caught off guard, but calmed down when the person behind her kissed her cheek.  
"Hello, Joren."  
"You guessed," He said, taking a seat next to her. "How've you been?"  
"Fine," Kel smiled, "Thinking of you."  
"And?"  
"How hard it's going to be hiding this. My friend's will figure it sooner or later."  
"You know we can't tell anyone. For your sake, and mine."  
Kel thought a minute. "Your sake?"  
Joren paused. "Never mind. I've been thinking of you all day too." He kissed her passionately, Kel's arms wrapped around his neck.   
They walked through the garden, talking. Joren told her about his family, friends back at home, and many other things Kel would have never dreamed she'd be talking to him about.   
"It's getting dark." Kel commented. "Maybe we should go in."  
"Your probably right. People will start to wonder."  
"I enjoyed this. Talking to you."  
Joren smiled. "Me, too. Shall we meet here every day?"  
*Every day? It was hard enough to get out of studying today, but every day?* But of course, no one listens to their brain when in love, so Kel replied, "Of course."  
Joren kissed her softly one last time, "Until tomorrow then." The two separated and entered the palace from different doors.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's pretty much how it went for about three weeks. Kel and Joren would meet in the garden after dinner, and they would take walks and talk to each other. Kel was finding it easier and easier to make up excuses to get out of study group, but they soon got suspicious.  
"Kel, you haven't come to study with us in three weeks!" Owen wined.  
"Yeah, my math isn't getting any better, you know." Neal added.  
"I'm sorry you guys. I-I just..."  
"Can't." Cleon finished. Kel nodded.  
"Fine then, go. We'll see you later." Roald said before anyone else could protest. Kel waved and solemnly walked out the door. She headed to her room where she would tell Lalassa she was going to study...or had she used that one yesterday? *No, yesterday I was riding Peachblossom.*  
Kel eventually got out of her room and headed to the garden where she knew Joren would be waiting for her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The squires, and Owen, sat at their usual table in the lesser library. At least, most of them did. There was still that one missing person that usually occupied the chair next to Neal. Everyone was quiet, all afraid to say what was on his mind.  
"What is wrong with Kel?" Cleon finally asked. "She's never here anymore."  
"I really don't know." Roald replied. "Whatever it is, it must be important."  
"Maybe she and Portia are doing something together and she's forgotten all about us!" Owen cried.  
"No, I doubt that." Cleon started. "But she could be hiding something."  
The squires began talking about confronting their friend and making her tell them what was going on.  
"No, you guys. We can't do that." The boys stopped to search for the voice. It was Neal who said it. "It's her life, and if she wants to tell us, she will."  
"We're her friends, of course she will." Owen said.  
"Maybe." Someone replied.  
"I guess."   
"Yeah." Agreed Roald.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*I can't stand this anymore. I know where she's been. She's with Joren. Where? I don't know. But I know she's with him.   
The guys are catching on, I can tell. They know something's going on. Maybe I should tell her, just so she's warned. Beat's me why she'd keep this a secret, but I plan on helping her with that wish. It'll be a secret between her, Joren, and I.*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Kel and Joren walked side by side through the garden. They were steps taken before, everyday for the last three weeks.  
"What are you thinking about?" Joren asked. Kel had been awfully quiet that night.  
"Joren, my friends are really starting to wonder. I'm skipping our study group to come out here, and I'm running out of excuses. They'll start asking more and more."  
"We'll just find another time to meet. Or we could write to each other." Joren suggested.   
"I don't know." Kel looked down to the ground, but Joren lifted up her chin.   
"Look, it'll be alright. We're doing a good job now, and if the guys catch on...well, we'll just figure out some other way." He kissed her.  
"Okay. So what were you saying about your mother?" Kel and Joren continued their walk. *I know I should worry, but with him here, I feel okay. Like everything's going to be okay.*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The sun began to set. It was time for Kel and Joren to part ways.  
"It'll be alright, Kel. You'll see." Joren called back to her as she entered the door to the palace.   
*All right. It'll all be all right. The funny thing is, I want to tell someone. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about this ordeal. Even if it was one of the guys, like Neal or Cleon. No, they wouldn't understand. That's the problem. I can't just go up and say, "Hey, I'm in love with Joren. Yeah, Joren. The one who used to beat all of us up, that's him!" No, that won't work. Portia would understand, but I can't tell her. I know why I can't say anything, Lord Wyldon, but what's keeping Joren so scared of being found out?*  
Kel made her way to her room. The door was open, which was odd. Kel pushed open the door.  
"Lalassa I..." Her voice seemed to fade after that. Her eyes were set on the person sitting on her bed. "I-I went to f-feed Peachblossom."  
"You make good excuses. Look, you don't have to lie to me anymore. I know what's going on."  
Kel glared at him, "And what exactly is going on?"  
"You're seeing Joren, every day after dinner. I know. I saw you leave his room a couple of weeks ago."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ah! Do you know who it is? All shall be revealed in the next chapter!   
Till then,  
Mandi  



	6. A secret between friends

Okay everyone. I'm really sorry about the lack of posting on my part. I was in a slump, a big slump. Thanks to my friends, you know who you are, who encouraged me not to just give up on this. I hope ya'll have not lost the desire to figure out what's next. For everyone that's read Squire, you know that this fic totally ignores the event that happened. Now on to the story!  
  
Chapter 6: "A secret between friends"  
  
Kel stood in her doorway, her eyes fixed on her friend. "How did you-I mean-when?" She couldn't seem to get the words out.  
  
"You mean when did I find out?" Neal stretched his long legs out on her bed, resting his head on folded arms. "A while ago, actually."  
  
Kel moved to sit by Neal, "But how?" Then it hit her. The noise she heard that night...that was him! "You mean you saw me that morning?"   
  
"No, not that morning, I saw you go to his room that night. About an hour after you went to bed."  
  
She saw the smirk on Neal's face. "Nothing happened, Neal. You know I'd never do that. What were you doing up that late anyway?"  
  
Neal shrugged, "Couldn't sleep. Then I heard some footsteps outside my room. I went outside and saw you walking down the hallway. I spied, followed you until we reached Joren's room. Trust me, I thought you were going to punch his lights out or something. Then I saw him pull you into his room and close the door. That surprised me. You didn't even protest. So I went back to my room, pondering why you'd go into his room."  
  
"What did you think about it?"  
  
"I thought up a lot of explanations. I didn't like any of them, not at all. How you could have fallen in love with that ass is beyond me."  
  
"Hey! He's different around me. All that hatred was just a mask to hide his feelings." Kel couldn't believe it; she was standing up for him. And just a year ago she would agree with the ass comment. "So, you were in the middle of the story?"  
  
"Yes. The next morning I needed to cancel out my nightmare explanation, so I waited, watching Joren's door carefully. Then I saw you come out of his room, and the way he looked at you. I was right."  
  
"Yeah, you were. I really care about him, Neal, and I know he cares about me."  
  
Neal sat up and out his hand on her shoulder. "I know. For a while I wouldn't accept it, I didn't want to. But then I saw how happy you've been, and I figured I should deal with it. I trust you're taste in people."  
  
Kel hugged Neal, "Thank you for understanding. I was so afraid that once my friends found out they disown me, or something."  
  
"Are you crying?" Neal asked, alarmed.  
  
"No!" Kel said wiping a single tear, "It's just been really hard keeping this a secret. I'm glad someone knows, now."  
  
Neal looked at Kel, "You mean you haven't told the fair Portia?"  
  
Kel laughed, "No. Joren wants to keep this a secret, so I haven't told anyone."  
  
"Probably wants to protect his reputation." Neal scoffed, "If you were mine, I'd tell the whole world. I wouldn't care who found out."  
  
Kel looked at Neal, a bit speechless. "What?"  
  
"I'm just saying, a guy should be proud of his girl."  
  
"Well, he's just protecting me. Could you imagine if Wyldon found out?" Kel stood.  
  
"Mithros! That would be something!" Neal slung an arm around Kel's shoulders. "Well we can't have any of that, now can we?"  
  
"Not at all. But it's good that you know, you're my best friend." Kel politely removed his arm and opened the door. "Now I can tell you everything, like I've wanted to for so long."  
  
Neal coughed, "I don't want to hear all that lovey-dovey stuff! I'm a man!"  
  
Kel walked down the hall with him, "I had to hear all of your stories, why can't you listen to me?"  
  
Neal turned to look at her, "Fine. I may even help you write some poetry, though it'll be weird since it's to the one person I've despised in my life here in the palace."  
  
"Neal, I don't want to scare him away. The poetry is unnecessary. Trust me." Kel laughed as Neal pretended to be offended.  
  
"It's gotten better!"  
  
"Is that what Portia said?" Kel asked, remembering the glass of water that got dumped over Neal's head a few weeks ago.  
  
"A minor setback. She'll come to, eventually." Neal continued to his room, with Kel trailing his long strides. Once they were in his room, Neal sat at his desk where his newest book laid half read. "So, are you two making an appearance at the Ball next week?"  
  
Kel sat on his bed, shuffling her feet. "I don't know. I wouldn't mind, but then..."  
  
"But then he wants to keep this hidden, right? Well, he should at least dance with you. Doesn't take a smart man to figure that one out." Neal shook his head.  
  
"I should ask him, shouldn't I?"  
  
"That would be what I'd do." Neal got up. "I still don't like this, you know. He might hurt you, I don't want to see that happen."  
  
"I know, but you trust me. I can take care of myself."  
  
Neal laughed to himself, "Yeah, I do know that. But if he EVER hurts you I'll-lets just say he'll never live to face the Ordeal."  
  
Kel smiled. "I have to go. Thank you again for understanding."  
  
"Hey it's our secret, right? A secret between best friends."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"So about the ball. I really want to go."  
Joren walked beside Kel, holding her hand. "Then go, have a good time with your friends."  
Kel stopped, "I want to have a good time with you."  
"Oh, Kel. You know we can't do that."  
"Why not? Why can't we be together? Are you ashamed that you and I are in love?"  
Joren wrapped him arms around Kel and kissed her. "Does that tell you I'm ashamed?"  
Kel smiled, "No, but at least dance with me at the ball. One time, no one has to know why."  
"Okay."  
"Promise me."  
"I promise."  
"Good," Kel said as they continued their walk, "Because I've been practicing."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yay! I'm so happy this chapter is finally up! Please keep reviewing, it tells me how I'm doing. Next chapter, the ball takes place. It's gonna be good, so watch out for me.  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Confusion and Chaos

Truth Be Told: Ch.7 "Confusion and chaos."  
  
The night of the ball was finally upon Kel, and she was busy getting ready that evening after dinner. As she brushed out her hair, removing the day's tangles, she spoke with Neal.  
  
"Do I look okay?" Neal asked, studying himself in the mirror.  
  
"No. You look great. I don't see why you trouble yourself so; you'd almost think you're a girl with that sense of vanity." Neal threw a pillow at her, messing up the hairdo she was attempting to make work. "Ugh! Thank you very much, Nealan."  
  
"My pleasure. So," Neal began as he went through her trunk, "What dress are you wearing tonight? The blue one? Or maybe this gold one, it's nice."  
  
Kel shook her head, "No, I went out and bought this red one yesterday." She held it out, "What do you think?"  
  
Neal inspected the red silk dress and sighed. "All this for Joren, huh? Lucky guy, I wish some girl would go through all this trouble for me."  
  
Kel turned and smiled at her friend. "Someday, Neal. Someday you'll find your match."  
  
"Like you?"  
  
Kel paused a minute then replied, "I don't know if Joren's my match, but if he is... I'd be content with that."  
  
Neal nodded. "I'll leave you to change. I'll come by in a little while and we can go to the ball together, okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Owen ran down the hallway with great excitement. He had to find Merric, and fast. This type of news just couldn't wait. Golly, he thought, not just Merric, but everyone needs to hear this.   
  
Owen reached the door of his study friend and knocked violently on the door.  
  
"What?!" Merric yelled from inside.  
  
"It's Owen! Open up!"  
  
The door opened to Merric pulling a tunic over his head. "Now what's so important that it couldn't wait until I got dressed?"  
  
"It's Kel. I... I heard her... and Neal talking." Owen was panting from running so fast.  
  
Merric let the youngster in. "What about Kel?"  
  
"She and Joren..."  
  
Merric stood. "Is he bothering her again? Boy, I'll kill that squire..." He was stopped by Owen's smirk. "What?"  
  
"Kel is in love with Joren. She thinks he may be her 'match'."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Joren stood in front of his mirror for the hundredth time. He just couldn't seem to get his tunic straight enough, or his hair parted right; and his shirt had one too many wrinkles in it. Once he realized he looked the best he humanly could, he paced around the room, contemplating his decision to dance with Kel. In his mind ran thoughts of people laughing at him. Joren, the one who hated the idea of females becoming equal to men, was dancing with the one girl he was supposed to be resenting. Joren, hater of the progressives, was in love with one.   
  
Was he ashamed of their love?  
  
Was he willing to sacrifice his reputation for her?  
  
Did he really love Kel?  
  
Joren pounded his fists on the desk. "Of course I love her! I love her more than I've loved anything or anyone in the world." Joren paused. He looked around the room and sighed. He was going to the ball. He was going to dance with Kel. And he wasn't going to care who saw them. Joren stood up straight with great determination, and began to walk to the door. Before he could reach the door, it swung open.  
  
"Joren!" Vinson chimed, "Don't you ever learn to lock the door?" Vinson looked Joren up and down. "You're not going to the ball are you?"  
  
Joren was silent for what seemed like an eternity. Damn, he thought. "Uh, I was thinking about making an appearance, but..."  
  
"But now I'm here, and boy have we a lot to catch up on." He looked at Joren, "Oh, come on. The ball's going to be boring anyway." Vinson chuckled and slung an arm around Joren's shoulders.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kel sat at a round table in the ball room with her friends. It was about an hour into the ball, and Joren still hadn't shown up. Neal noticed her distress when he heard the beat of her tapping fingers.  
  
"He'll show, Kel. Why wouldn't he?"  
  
Kel thought a while, then shook her head. "I don't know."  
  
Neal stood, "Well, this is nonsense."  
  
"What is?"  
  
Neal smiled. "You spent a lot of time getting ready for this ball, and you're going to have a good time. Regardless if Joren shows up." He held out his hand to her. "Dance with me?"  
  
Kel smiled and took his hand in hers. "I'd love to."  
  
As they moved about the dance floor, Kel and Neal laughed and talked. Even though Neal stepped on her foot a couple times, Kel had a good time. She almost forgot all her worries, that is, until the dance was over. Neal and Kel walked back to the table where Owen was busy chatting with Seaver.   
  
"Owen, what are you talking about?" Kel asked. "You keep looking my way, and I'm starting to get suspicious." She grinned.  
  
"Nothing Kel," Owen said. "I was just... stating that my sister wanted a dress just like that one. You look better in it than she ever would, though." Owen smiled and went back to his conversation.  
  
Kel watched the couples dance and the girls turn under their partners' arm. She caught Portia and Alton dancing together, while Alton whispered into Portia's ear. Kel sighed and smiled. She hadn't realized it till just then, but that's what she wanted. She wanted someone to hold her close, to dance with, to care about. And she didn't want to have to worry about what others thought about it. When had she ever cared what others thought about her? Hadn't she forfeited that when she became a page? She had known that people would bash her for her decision, but she couldn't care because she was stronger than that. Why should love be any different?   
  
"Kel?" Cleon had knocked her back to reality. "Do you want to dance?"  
  
The ball continued on all night, and Kel danced with most of her friends. With only an hour left in the ball, Joren still hadn't shown up. Kel figured at last that it was too late, and she should stop looking to the door only to find it empty. Kel was about to leave when Neal rushed to her side.  
  
"Kel!"  
  
"What, Neal? I was about to leave."  
  
Neal caught his breath. "Owen. I don't know how he found out."  
  
Kel's eyes widened. "What? Owen found out what, Neal?"  
  
"He knows about you and Joren, and he's been telling people."  
  
Oh, Mithros, Kel thought. "Where's the little turd?"  
  
Neal pointed to a table where Owen was half-asleep. "I'll wake him up." Kel said as she walked to the table. Once by the boy's side Kel shook him.  
  
"Huh? What?" Owen looked up at a Yamani faced Kel. "Oh, hey Kel. What's the matter?"  
  
"You tell me."  
  
Owen yawned and stretched out his arms. "I don't know. Oh! You mean Joren, right?"  
  
Kel folded her arms over her chest and stared Owen down. "No." She said sarcastically. "How in Mithros' name did you find out? And you better be truthful."  
  
"I went to your room earlier this evening. Heard you and Neal talking about him. Is he really your match, Kel?"  
  
"What does that matter?" Kel said irritably.  
  
"Well," Owen began in a matter-of-fact tone, "If he were your match, why didn't he show up tonight? Or is chicken boy too proud to dance with the girl he loves?" Owen smiled, but that smiled faded as he looked at Kel, whose mask had too, faded away. "Oh, Kel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."  
  
"No, Owen, you're right. I keep telling myself that there's a logical explanation for this all, why he wants to keep it secret so badly, why he didn't come tonight." Kel watched as Neal sat down beside her. "Maybe he is a coward."  
  
"Kel, don't listen to us. There has to be a good excuse. Now let's go, all right? You need some rest." Neal stood with Kel. "You have a good time?"  
  
"Yes, Neal. I had a very good time." Kel said as they began to walk out. Owen ran up to Kel and stood in front of her.  
  
"Kel, am I forgiven? I'm sorry I told other people. I can un-tell them, if you want. No, I'll say you had a nasty break-up and you kicked the crap out of him. That'll be jolly fun to make up! Or maybe I'll say..." Kel's hand came over his mouth.   
  
"No more stories. You're forgiven, just tell me the names of the people you told."  
  
"Golly, I told Merric and Seaver. I think Merric told Faleron, but I'm not sure."  
  
Neal added, "That's all?"  
  
Owen nodded, "I only told those two, I swear." Owen looked at Neal, "How did you know I was telling people?"  
  
Neal smirked, "Seaver told me. Always liked that boy."  
  
Kel gave Owen a gentle push aside and the gang continued to walk to the squire's wing. In her room, Kel bathed and prepared for bed. The question of where Joren had been would have to wait for tomorrow, when she saw him in the gardens.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Joren and Vinson had been talking for hours, and Joren kept looking for chances to get away. Vinson, however, wouldn't let him go. Every time Joren tried to end the conversation, Vinson kept insisting that they talk longer.   
  
Now it was seriously late, and the ball, Joren presumed, was nearly over. Great, he thought, the one chance I thought I had to prove my love for her and this scum ruined it. Joren faked a yawn. "Gosh, Vinson, it's late and I want an early start tomorrow."  
  
"You're right. I'll see you later?"  
  
"Sure, sure. Bye, now." Joren did everything but shove Vinson out the door. Once he was gone, Joren fixed his hair and strolled out the door and made his way, quickly, to the ball. Joren got to the ball, but he couldn't find Kel. Instead, he found Faleron, one of her friends.  
  
"Uh, Faleron. Where's Kel?" Joren grimaced for saying that. What was Faleron to think now?  
  
"She left. Sorry you didn't catch her. I heard how you wanted to dance with her." Joren's face wrinkled with confusion. "Don't look like you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you and her are seeing each other. It's not a secret around here."   
  
"How did you..." Joren shook his head and walked out. How could she tell?! That was just like a woman, to tell the world about their latest conquest. Boy she'd get a piece of his mind tomorrow.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next day Kel waited in the gardens for Joren. She kept going over things so say to him when he arrived. She ran a hand through her light brown hair and decided to sit down on the bench. A couple of minutes passed, then she saw Joren standing in front of her.  
  
"Joren! I didn't even see you coming." Kel stood to kiss him, but he backed away. "Joren?"  
  
Joren just stood there in front of her, more than three paces away. Kel tried to close that gap, but every time she moved, he moved as well.   
  
"Joren, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you show up yesterday?"  
  
"I asked you not to tell anyone." That was his only reply, and that's all Kel needed.  
  
"He just found out, okay? It's no big deal, Owen won't tell anyone else." Kel assured.  
  
"Owen?! I was talking about Faleron. And who else knows about this Keladry?" Joren's volume grew, and he used a tone she hadn't heard in a long time.  
  
"Owen found out. He told Seaver and Faleron. That's all. Neal..."  
  
"Neal knows, too? Ugh, Kel you really did it this time." Kel tried to speak, but Joren kept talking. "And how did Owen find out? I'm pretty sure he didn't wake up one day and say 'Hey, I think Kel and Joren are having a secret romance.' Now did he?"  
  
"Joren, let me explain..."  
  
"No, you hear me out!" Joren was yelling by now. "I asked you to keep this a secret, for both our sakes. Just like a woman to go out a defy the man that thought she loved him."  
  
"When did I ever defy you?! I never told anyone, Joren of Stone Mountain, they all found out by accident." Now all of Kel's confusion and anger was surfacing. She couldn't concentrate enough to put on a Yamani mask. "And what the hell do you mean 'for both our sakes'? For my sake because I could get kicked out, but that's a risk I'm willing to take if I love someone. But how is this 'for your sake'? For your reputation? All those people who know you for hating progressives? I... I can't find the words right now."  
  
"Are you calling me a coward?" Joren asked coldly.  
  
"Yes, if you must be so blunt. You can't tell anyone about us because you're too proud. You care too much about what other people think of you. You're a coward. And right now, I don't want to see your face." Kel walked past Joren, brushing his shoulder as she passed.   
  
It was like a slap in the face. Joren stood and watched Kel walk away. She sure was angry, angrier than he'd ever seen her. That was one of the many traits he admired about her, she always kept her cool, unlike him. Curse my mouth, Joren thought. It's gotten me in trouble once again.  
  
Now that he thought about it, Kel had never snapped that bad. Not even when he and his gang were bullying her. He would have preferred that slap in the face than the guilt that he was experiencing. What have I done, he thought. I've unleashed so much anger within her that I caused her to react in a way she never has before. I...  
  
"Bravo," Said a voice behind Joren. He turned to face a grinning Vinson.  
  
"Uh... Vinson. I didn't see you come up." Joren's heart pounded with nervousness. How long had he been there?   
  
Vinson calmly strode to where Joren was standing. "That's because I've been here, my dear friend. I heard everything." Shit, Joren thought to himself. "Your little girlfriend dump you? How sad. But what surprises me is that Kel was the little girlfriend. Now how do you explain that?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I let out the worst in me, Kel thought. How could I have yelled like that? No matter how mad I was, I've learned better that that. I have to talk to him. I going back downstairs, hopefully he's still in the gardens.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Joren stood silent as Vinson asked again, "How do you explain that?"  
  
Joren's conscience was fighting a tough battle (AN: Vinson is not saying any of this. It's all in Joren's head ):   
  
"Tell him the truth, Joren, for Kel."   
  
"What are you crazy? Your reputation's on the line."  
  
"That's all you care about Joren, isn't it? Your reputation. Let me tell you something, you have no reputation. Kel's the only one whose brought out the best in you."   
  
"Don't listen, Joren. You have your pride. Are you going to risk that for some woman who thinks she's better than you?"  
  
"If you give her up, you'll have nothing left."  
  
"Well..." Vinson brought Joren back.  
  
"Oh, Vinson. You're so clueless. How can you not see that this has been my plan from the start? I've got her, the argument was a minor setback. I'll apologize and she'll take me back; under that strength she's just another vulnerable girl, or did you miss that?" Jackass, Joren told himself, that's what I am. "It's been going on since that first kiss. Gosh, how long ago was that?"  
  
Vinson laughed along, "How come you haven't gotten Wyldon in on it yet?"  
  
"All in due time, Vinson. All in due time." Jerk, Joren called himself. Joren finished discussing the fake plan until Vinson finally had enough. Once Vinson was gone, Joren sighed in relief.  
  
"Okay, that was bad, but I can work around that lie." Joren said to himself before turning to face Kel with her fists clenched.  
  
"Hey, Kel. I'm really sorry..."  
  
"No, I'm sorry," Kel began, "I thought, 'I was too hard on him.' 'I should apologize.' And I was going to, until I heard that." Kel paused. " So which is it Joren, huh? Are you planning something; leading me on? That would make you an asshole."   
  
"Kel..."  
  
"Or are you too proud to tell the truth, which make you a coward?" Kel stared at Joren, who just stood, contemplating something. "Tell me!"  
  
"I don't know what to say." Joren replied.  
  
Kel nodded, "I just figured it out. You're an asshole AND a coward." With that Kel walked away in the same direction she had just about thirty minutes ago.  
  
She's right, Joren thought. I am a coward. I am an asshole. I've thrown away the only thing I've ever loved, and all for what? My pride? My pathetic excuse of a reputation? No, I love her. I vowed to make her mine from the start, and that's what I'm going to do. I don't care what risks I take or what I sacrifice. I will make her mine again.  
  
  
  



	8. No matter what may come...

Author Note: All right. The final chapter is here! I just want to thank Kristin for all her support and great ideas. Without your encouragement, I would have quit writing this story (which I actually did consider many a time) back at chapter 5, 6, and even 7. This story is for you. ^_^  
  
Truth be Told - Chapter 8 "No matter what may come..."  
  
Joren sat in his room, writing yet another letter of apology to Kel. It was becoming a useless act; she never returned them, and for all he knew she could be throwing every one away before reading the contents. It had been about ten days since she blew up at him, and he had written about twenty letters. Every time he saw her in the halls, the library, or in the mess hall, she never even looked at him.   
Joren folded the letter and proceeded to her room. He knew she was out riding Peachblossom right now. All the better, he wanted to slip the letter in without her seeing. Once that was done, he headed back to his room. Joren was spending a lot of time in there lately, wallowing in his own self-pity. He knew damn well what he needed to do to get Kel back. It was just a matter of him gathering the courage to face Vinson with the truth. Gods, what would Vinson do once he heard the truth? And after all the lies and stories Joren made up, would Vinson even believe him for a second?  
With all this in mind, Joren returned to his quiet room, alone with his thoughts.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kel sent Peachblossom into a slow gallop. As the wind blew her hair, she found the only relief from her thoughts. She was fully drawn into a trance that helped relax her, and it took her away, temporarily, from her thoughts abut Joren. Unfortunately the sound of Neal cantering up beside her woke her from that blissful trance.  
"Hello." Neal flashed a smile directed at his best friend. He had noticed that she was down in spirits lately, and he could only think of one reason.  
"Hi, Neal." Kel forced a smile as she was brought back to reality.   
"You missed breakfast today. We were worried about you."  
Kel shifted in her saddle. "I-uh-wasn't hungry."  
"Kel," Neal began with that I'm-older-than-you tone he got sometimes, "You've been saying that for the past week. What's wrong?"  
"Oh, Neal, you know what. As much as I can't stand to see Joren right now..." She trailed off.  
"You want to?"  
Kel nodded.  
"He keeps writing you those letters, why don't you answer one of them?" He nudged her arm, "Show some courtesy."  
As Neal finished that sentence, the pair had just reached the stables. As Kel put everything back in place, she spoke again. "Neal, he needs to be honest. I don't want to live in hiding all the time."  
"I understand. But have you even bothered reading those letters?" Neal raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes, until they got repetitive. 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.' It's the same thing all the time."  
"Well, guys aren't much of writers. Not the ones I know anyway."  
As they walked into the squire's wing, Neal faced Kel. "Look, Lady Alanna has us leaving in about two days. I can't leave you in this state."  
"Don't worry about me, Neal, worry for yourself." Kel joked.  
"Oh, Gods, that's right! I forgot what a pain that woman could be."  
Kel opened her door to find another letter sitting on the threshold. Neal stared down at it for as long as Kel did. "Why can't he give it to you in person?"  
Kel picked it up. "I don't know."  
Neal grabbed her hand as she began to rip it. "Don't do that. Maybe for once he has something reasonable to say to you."  
Kel sighed and opened the letter, glaring at Neal the whole time. Neal just smiled. "Dearest Kel...yada, yada...I'm sorry...Can we meet tomo-." Kel stopped reading aloud.  
"Meet? He wants to see you?" Neal tried to read over he shoulder, but she wouldn't allow it.   
"Yeah, tomorrow at noon."  
"That gives me time." Neal almost ran out of her room.  
Kel stopped reading immediately. "Wait! What do you mean 'gives me time'? Time for what?"  
Neal pocked his head in the door. "Nothing, don't worry. Just go see him tomorrow, okay?" He was gone before Kel could protest.  
"Okay..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
What made me think she'd read the letter, let alone go tomorrow? Joren thought. He'd seen her riding with Neal, and they seemed perfectly happy. Had she already moved on? Joren sighed and placed his head in his hands. Suddenly there was a swift knock at the door.  
"Hold on...I'm coming." Joren opened the door to a stone faced Neal. "What the hell do you want?"  
Neal pushed his way in his room, turned, and landed a perfect punch on Joren's left eye. "I told Kel a long time ago that if you ever hurt her, you'd never live another day."  
Joren regained himself and put a hand up. "Wait. You just can't come in here and punch me. Start again."  
"You hurt Kel, its my obligation to make you pay."  
"So I can't live, now, it that it?"  
Neal paced, "That was the decision. But then I saw how alone Kel is without you, and how different she is. I don't like it when she's in low spirits. She loves you, I don't know why, but she does. Now if I killed you...that wouldn't do, because she'd hate me and be in low spirits forever. So, I propose a deal."  
Joren touched his eye. A black eye would no doubt be the result. "Go on."  
"You will tell Vinson. Today. Right now. I have arranged a nice way to get you two together." Neal grabbed Joren's arm. "You have no choice. I know you love her, or you wouldn't write those letters every other hour. Now, I also have it in good belief that you know exactly what you need to do to get her back... all you need is the push."  
They made their way through the halls of the squire's wing. As much as Joren wanted to know the plan, Neal wouldn't speak. Then the pair came to an abrupt halt in front of... Vinson's room.   
"What is this?" Joren asked as Owen joined them.   
"Vinson's in there right now."   
"I have the key, Neal." Owen chimed.  
"Good, boy. Joren, here's your push." Neal opened the door, shoved Joren in, and locked the door again.  
"And don't come out until everything is said and done!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Joren stumbled into Vinson's room, totally caught off guard.  
"And don't come out until everything is said and done!" Damn that Neal. But then, maybe he was right. Joren did know what he needed to do, he just didn't have the courage. Well, he thought as Vinson faced him, here's his chance. Kel loved him, it was time he showed her he loved her back.  
"Uh, Joren?" Vinson had a look of concern on his face. He walked toward Joren.  
"Wait, Vinson. I have something to tell you." Joren promptly began to tell the whole story, from the beginning. He was saying it so fast, but Vinson slowly got the idea.   
"So all this time... you've been lying to me?"  
"Yeah."  
"Wow, I didn't expect this. Not from you, you're my best friend."  
"You seem to be taking this a bit better than I had imagined." Joren almost smiled, and would have, if Vinson hadn't picked up a vase.  
"Am I? My one best friend in the world betrays everything he believes in... for a female. Am I supposed to take that easily?!" Vinson sent the vase flying, and luckily Joren ducked at the right time. The vase smashed into the door.   
"Vinson, clam down. Look, I love her. I don't care what you think, I'm going to keep loving her for as long as I live."  
"Oh, how sweet! You traitor! I can't stand to breathe the same air as you... you progressive!" He threw another potted plant at Joren, and this one just missed Joren's head.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Owen and Neal had been listening to the whole thing. The wanted to make sure Joren told the truth. As they listened, they could tell Joren really loved Kel. Owen was smiling when a crash startled them both.  
"That would mean Vinson found out the truth." Neal pointed out.  
"Yep." Owen agreed.  
They continued to listen until the second, louder crash came. "I think we better move in, you?"  
"Yeah, unless we want Joren in pieces when Kel sees him."  
Neal and Owen opened the door only to allow another vase to fly out. Owen dodged it.   
"Joren, are these your new friends? Well, I can take care of you all!"  
Owen's eyes widened. "He's gone mad!" Neal nodded in agreement. Neal grabbed a large book on Vinson's desk and weighted it quickly. With a nod from both Owen and Joren, Neal slammed the book down on Vinson's head, knocking him unconscious.   
"That took care of him for a while." Neal said, outwardly pleased with himself.   
"Damn, I thought he was going to kill me." Joren sighed.   
"He would have." Owen corrected.   
"I was hoping you could tell Kel tomorrow, but we don't have much time until he wakes up." Neal looked at Joren. "Come along then, you have yet another big task."  
"Great."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kel sat in her room gazing at the pile of letters on her desk. There were sixteen in all. Six read, ten not even opened. She sighed. I should just move on, she thought, he's never going to give up his reputation. And yet, she couldn't move on. And thus was the battle inside her heart, a battle no one side would win.  
There was a knock at her door, and when Kel didn't answer, someone else did. "Kel? Can I come in?" The voice was oh-so familiar. Joren, who else could it be?  
"Why should I let you in?" Kel yelled back at the voice.  
"Kel, hear the guy out, would you?" She knew that voice, too. Neal. "He's been through a lot today."  
Kel got up and opened the door, turning her back on her guests quite rudely. "What did you need?"  
Joren ran around her and forced her to look at him. "Kel, please, listen to me."  
Kel noticed his black eye, and she didn't think before putting her fingers gently on his bruise. "What happened?" She asked in a voice that was just barely a whisper.  
"It's a long story." Joren said, taking her hand in his and moving her to the chair. She sat down, and he knelt down next to her. "Neal kind of... punched me."  
"Neal!" Kel protested as Neal shrugged.  
"No, it's all right. He brought me back to my senses. He made me realize what I knew long ago. You are the most important thing to me, Kel. I love you so much that I was in agony these past ten days because I hurt you." Joren raised a hand to Kel's cheek. "I will never do that again, as long as I live."  
Kel tried to speak, but instead she reached out for Joren and embraced him, all her feelings fully shown. "Joren," She began as they parted, "Does Vinson know?"  
Joren and Neal let out a little chuckle. "That's the other part of the story." Joren proceeded to tell that part, with Neal and Owen adding in their point of view.   
"Wow. That is some day you've had." Kel said as the story ended.   
"To say the least." Joren finished. "But it was all worth it. I needed you back, Kel. More than you can imagine." Joren took Kel's hands and stood, then he kissed her.  
Neal and Owen had been watching, holding their breath lest they ruin the mood in the room. Owen wanted to stay, but Neal forced the boy out, closing the door behind them.   
Kel and Joren stood in a tight embrace for what seemed like a long time. Kel rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. Joren lifted her chin and kissed her once again. When they finally parted, Kel wrapped her arms around Joren's neck. "So," she began nervously, "What's going to happen when Vinson wakes up?"  
Joren looked in her eyes and shrugged lightly. "I don't know, exactly."  
"He'll go to Wyldon. I know it." Kel looked down.   
Joren raised her chin again, but not to kiss her. "Look, he may, or may not. But know this: I love you dearly, and always will. We can face this together, no matter what may come."  



End file.
